As my time in “the Rita” draws to a close in about a week, it makes me think about family. Yes, I definitely miss my family back home, both biological and non. But now that I know I will be away from all of that family for two years, I have begun to search for new family here. In no way is it a replacement to the family back home…don’t worry I’m not going to take some Panamanian last name and join a family in a tiny pueblo here. But, I feel like I’m starting to build a family right here in Santa Rita. Family is such a relative term because I think that where ever you are and whatever you’re doing you can always find family. Family just means the people who love and support you when you’re struggling and when you’re doing well. I have felt both here and my Santa Rita family has been there for me. Every day is something new with my Santa Rita family. Last night it was making cookies and teaching them how to fold boxes out of paper. Then afterwards a nice little game I like to call “crazy gringa” where I do silly things and they laugh. The first part, making cookies was more foreign to them that making the boxes. When I told my little 5 year old primo who lives at our house, Coquín, that we would be “horneando galletas” he asked “so we’re eating cookies?” I told him no we were baking them. He got really confused and was like “so we can’t eat them?” They had never made cookies before, so it was a very funny and new thing. But the final product was delish and everyone enjoyed. Pretty sure they won’t do it on their own, but it was an experience. (Side note: another highlight was my friend Austin who’s from CA bringing over a quesadilla with pico de gallo and guacamole that he had made for his family! Sups the best!) This morning, it was Elianis, my little 4 year old sister, “helping” me pack my suitcase to go to a conference today while we dancing around my room. It’s the little things that make me so grateful that I’m not here by myself. When I’m sad, all I have to do is walk out of my room and see all the faces of the kids and adults who are both intrigued and amused by me. I feel like slowly but surely, I am becoming one of the family members. Helping “desgranar guandu” (peel these peapod things) with my madre and abuela, play dog, horse, “crazy gringa”, “la bruja” and much more with the 4 kids, cook with my madre, and so much more. And now, after only 2 months, I am leaving this new family. A week from Sunday, I will leave for swear-in and then for my site in El Higo de San Carlos. And there I’m sure I’ll make new family, but it’s sad to have to leave my first Panamanian family. When Elianis found out I wouldn’t be here for her first day of school in March, she was so sad and I hated that feeling. It’s all becoming more real that the training process and essentially “Peace Corps summer camp” with all of the volunteers being together and getting to play is coming to an end.
I am also very grateful for my new Peace Corps friends. They feel like family too. I have already had my first meltdown and said I can’t do this, to which I had 8 wonderful girls hug me and cry with me because they were feeling the same way. The next day, one of them gave me a long letter, with Bible verses included, about how she’s there for me and knows I’ll do great. And I’ve had so many fun trips to different lakes, rivers, towns, festivals, etc. with volunteers that I know will be some of my best friends in Peace Corps and probably afterwards. I can’t wait for the next adventures, but I’m sad to leave the safety of my Peace Corps and Santa Rita family for other things.
So here’s to my family Stateside, in Panama, and scattered throughout the world right now. I miss you, love you, and appreciate you all so much. Thank you for your support and love. The transitions just keep coming, so I am blessed to have each and every one of you!
