**Warning: This post is going to be profound and wise due to the fact
that I have gone from 23 years old to 24 years old since the last post. Oh and it's long.** Turning 24 was so fun! It started with a friend from my Peace Corps group
surprising me at school on the 23rd. He lives all the way up in
Bocas del Toro, which is 12 hours away by bus so it was sweet of him to come
down (and he brought me a huge bunch of like 50 bananas from his house!). We
had a lot of fun building a shower at my house, doing crosswords, and talking
with my neighbors. Then Saturday, my friend Kim came and the three of us, after
teaching an energetic English class in my community in the morning (including
acting out a story), went to Panama City to pick up three of my best friends
who came in from the States to celebrate. What a big gift! Sarah came in
Saturday night and so Austin, Kim, another friend Andrew, Sarah and I celebrated
in the hostel. Kim and Andrew even made a cake! Sunday morning, my actual
birthday, we went to a creperie for breakfast and I had a crepe with spinach in
it, which I miss soooooo much. Then we had a Panama miracle: I told my other
two friends, Ali and Lauren, who were flying in from the States to meet us at
the bus terminal, which I realized after telling them was a terrible idea. The
terminal is huge and literally has thousands of people walking around it in
(think Grand Central Station or something). But, by the time I realized what a
bad idea this was, it was too late because they were on their way and had no
phone or anything. So, we roll up in the bus and just as we are stopping, I see
them. I tell Sarah and we take off running. It was a Panama miracle for real!
Then, we went to my friend Catherine’s house. I go to her house a lot because
she’s my closest volunteer, so her community knows me too. She organized a
whole birthday party for me and the community showed up! They made food
(including really spicy peppers which they enjoyed watching me eat), we danced,
they set off fireworks, and they absolutely loved my gringa friends I brought (I mean who wouldn’t? What entertainment!).
The next few days were crazy because I had class every morning and I had to
sneak around my tiny house getting ready while my friends slept. It was also
English week at school which meant lots of extra fun activities so I was really
busy at school! In the afternoons, we went on adventures including a natural
hot springs where we covered ourselves with mud (two of my Panamanian coworkers
went too, which was so funny!), ziplining, a hike to a waterfall, and the
beach. Then, Thursday, because they decided to cancel school (per usual) we
went on a long trip to the beach at Las Lajas. Side note: we had another Panama
miracle getting a direct bus to Las Lajas in less than a minute; it usually
takes me at least a half hour! Anyway, this is an absolutely beautiful beach
and even though it’s 4 to 5 hours by bus, I go there whenever possible! We
stayed there from Thursday to Saturday when I said a tearful good-bye (oh how
the Panamanians stared) to my friends as they headed back to Panama City to
leave. I stayed with a group of about 10 Peace Corps friends at the beach until
Sunday to celebrate my birthday and had a great time! This past week, I also
had my second week off of school, so I was able to go visit a few of my
friends’ at their new houses. We had a lot of fun just catching up and I got to
help build fogรณnes
(mud stoves), pasear, and help with a
fundraiser. Then, on Wednesday I had a meeting with other volunteers in Panama,
and Austin came down from Bocas for the rest of the week. We just paseared, did crosswords, cooked, and
went to the beach; a very relaxing break. So now, I’m reenergized and ready to
start on the home stretch of school (which ends in December and doesn’t start
again until end of February).
With a new trimester, I’m also starting a new chapter in teaching. My
co-teacher who I work with every other week and also is one of my best friends
in the community, is leaving for 5 weeks to do her practica (student teaching) to be licensed to teach 7-9th
grade. So, every other week, I will be teaching alone until she comes back. She
said I don’t have to, but I feel that I am here and am willing and able to do
it. Why should these kids be punished because their teacher can’t come for 5
weeks? Also, if you’re saying “Why don’t they have a substitute teacher come?”
Well, if Panama had substitute teachers that would work really well wouldn’t
it? But, they don’t. Anyway, I’m looking forward to another challenge and if I
don’t run out crying every day, I will call it a success and celebrate. I’ll
let you know… Another thing, my latest excitement in teaching has been reading
stories to the class. First I pre-teach the necessary vocab., then I read the
story in English while acting it out, asks critical thinking/tracking
questions, and then we summarize it. The kids absolutely LOVE it and get really
excited when we finish and I remind them that they just understood a whole book
in English! So, if any of you have very basic English kids picture books and
you have been just waiting for me to ask you to send them, this is your chance
:) I would love to have any and all books you have. I am currently applying for
a grant through Peace Corps to get books shipped here, but that will take a
while. So if you would like to, please mail books to:
Sydney Morgan
Cuerpo de Paz, Clayton
Ciudad del Saber
Calle Victor Iglesias, Edificio 240, 4to Piso
Panama City, Panama
Ok now is the part where I’m gonna transition from what I’ve been doing
to what I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, so feel free to stop here if
you don’t wanna enter the crazy world of Sydney’s head.
I’ve been reading a few books lately that have really made me think.
One of them is called Serve God, Save the
Planet by J. Matthew Sleeth, MD. My bestie, Sarah, brought it when she came
down last month. Although it’s a Christian book, it’s basically a call to all
people no matter what religion, to care for and about our planet and the
environment. Every time I read this book, it gets me pamped (pumped and amped) and
inspired to do more to help our Mother Earth, but then a little dishearted.
Yes, I am doing my part in terms of walking everywhere in my town, not using
much electricity and water (especially when either or both go out for days on
end), and trying not to create a lot of trash. But, is it enough? No matter
what I do, I always still have trash. And all trash gets burned here. Even
though I don’t burn it myself, any trash I put in other trashcans will be burnt
eventually. And recycle? If I meet a Panamanian who can tell me what that means
and how to do it, I will let you know. And how can I justify traveling up to 12
hours in bus to visit my Peace Corps friends? That’s a ton of gas! This book
had one line that really struck me “what do a hundred, or a million
compassionate thoughts accomplish?” This is so true. I find myself so often
thinking of how much I would love to do to save our environment, but what do I
end up doing? Not too much. But therein lies the dilemma. I can’t save all my
trash and recycling for the next year and a half and carry it back to the U.S.
to be dealt with in a better way (which is still not always the best). So
despite all my lofty thoughts and ideas, I feel rather helpless down here
trying to figure out what to do. Am I supposed to try to change the whole
country, start a trash collection system, recycling plants, etc.? Unless I
change the whole system, I feel like I am just another cog in the gas guzzling
and ozone killing machine that is Panama. Any suggestions or thoughts about
this would be much appreciated.
Another book I have been reading talks a lot about serving others. This
makes me think about what it looks like to serve one another, and what is the
line between serving others and being walked all over? As a volunteer, my goal
is to give all that I have and am to the people here. To love them, share my
life, culture and material things with them, and serve them in whatever ways I
can and they need. As a teacher, my goal is to give everything as well but in a
different way. To share my love, knowledge, English skills with students, teaching
skills with teachers, and help the students and teachers in any other ways. But
where does it end? I don’t want the people to feel they can take advantage of
my generosity, but I also don’t want to be unapproachable. So what does this
look like? I honestly have no idea. I wish I did. Am I really here to serve
others at all or just for a glorified adventurous vacation in a beautiful
country? Hmm. To get a little religious-y on you, I want to be like Jesus and
give myself freely to those around me. Obviously, He sacrificed the biggest
thing possible, His life, but I want to be able to give of myself in whatever
ways I can. Every time I say no to something or someone here, I feel like I’m
not serving others and being selfish. But at the same time, I justify it by
saying that I need time for myself. Is this legitimate? I don’t know. In the
book I’m reading it says, “Service is less a task or series of tasks than an
attitude of obedience.” I also feel that sometimes I do something like teach or
help my neighbor with building his house in order to get praise or be
recognized, which becomes less about serving and more about an ego boost. I
love what St. Teresa of Avila once wrote about the way we should live. “God has
no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours
are the eyes through which he looks with compassion on the world. Yours are the
feet with which he is to go about doing good. And yours are the hands with
which he is to bless us now.” I just hope that I can actually do and be this
way. I guess I have a year and a half to figure it out.
Until next time, thanks for all your love and positivity! I miss and
love all of you! Also, if you have facebook, you can check out some of my
recent pictures from my friends’ trip here. So much fun!
Sydney
